Tag: #cursebreaker

Healing and Safety: Managing a Medical Procedure While Confronting a Stalker

Healing and Safety: Managing a Medical Procedure While Confronting a Stalker

Hey, everyone! I’m still here. It’s been a tough time, but I’m pushing through. Between dealing with health challenges and trying to raise enough money for a procedure I’ll be having next month, I’ve also been dealing with harassment from my abuser—my father (more on that in a minute).

To keep myself going, I’ve started up the “Sharing My Art Every Day Til I Can Afford Healthcare” series again (on YouTube). I’ve got loads of artwork available, art commissions, tutorials, and a medical fundraiser up and running. If you’re interested in supporting, my family and I would be so grateful. Every bit helps!

I won’t lie—creating new work hasn’t been easy lately. I’ve been in a mental and physical “rest mode,” preparing for my upcoming procedure and, honestly, just enjoying some much-needed time with my immediate family.

Now, you might be wondering why I’m talking about my father. For years, I’ve been healing my childhood trauma and sharing that process with all of you. Staying silent only continues to protect the abuser, and I refuse to do that any longer. My story deserves to be told. It’s incredibly important to me that my story is heard—especially if something were to happen to me, I want there to be a record.

My father has stalked, harassed, and manipulated me for far too long (my whole life). I’ve told him multiple times that I don’t want him in my life—especially after he made cruel accusations to his neighbor, claiming I neglected and abused him. (It’s textbook narcissistic abuse to flip the script on their victim and accuse them of being abusive. The narc is charming to outsiders and they oftentimes will side with the narc.) Keep in mind, I was the one raising money and organizing supplies for him when his house burned down at that time. I even set up Meals on Wheels for him and got him in touch with Red Cross. It’s hard to understand how someone can be so twisted and diabolical, especially to recruit people to exact his cruel bidding even more.

He also told my brother I’m not his child, that he never treated me like I was. (He finally said the quiet part out loud! Now that’s closure!) But I did an Ancestry DNA test, and surprise—turns out, I am his child, just like my mom always said. It’s not shocking to me at this point. What I’ve learned over the years is that he’s cruel, manipulative, exploitative, and abusive. I’ve had enough of that. *YouTube Video Discussing This And Recent Events More In Depth*

I deserve peace. I deserve love. And I deserve happiness.

So, I’m focusing on keeping my spirits up and staying busy when I can, but I’m also giving myself permission to take things slowly and to talk about what’s happened and happening to me now.

I want to thank you all so much for your support and kindness. It truly means the world to me. I’ll try to keep you updated on everything, as it’s important to document things for safety, and I’m so grateful to have you in my corner. Take care of yourselves and I’ll see you soon!

Award Winning Artist, Misty Lemons of Designs By Misty Blue Art holding a watercolor painting she created live on YouTube, showing a technique she uses to calm her anxiety

To learn more about me and my art or if you’d like to offer support, please visit my Link Tree! Thank you so much!

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*For Legal Purposes, Statements Made Here & Other Platforms Are Opinion & Are Alleged

Creative Living With Chronic Illnesses

Creative Living With Chronic Illnesses

Sometimes, I wonder how my life would be different had I not had chronic illnesses. Unfortunately, I’ve been ill in one way or another the majority of my life, so I can’t really say how it could’ve been. Anything I imagine would only be a dream.

Here I am contemplating my next art piece, or wondering how I can afford to go to the doctor, or both

Health is wealth that is easy to take for granted if you have it. And society just isn’t set up to be accommodating to those with illnesses or disabilities. I mean, think about it. It starts early in life. Schools reward and praise the kids that never miss a day, whether they’re sick or not. It’s like they’re saying they don’t care if you’re sick and taking care of yourself is shamed when you don’t get the accolades of perfect attendance. But health is a privilege and so is healthcare, when they should be human rights.

America is one of the richest countries in the world and it’s where I happened to be born. But capitalism, greed, rugged individualism, bigotry, and eugenics are heavily integrated into the systems that run our country and many a people have been fighting it, demanding change and equity/equality for a long time.

My mother was disabled. I had a front row seat to see just how difficult life is for someone with chronic illnesses and disabilities. She worked hard to make sure we had healthcare, a clean house and clothes, and food to eat, but government assistance only goes so far. By the end of every month free school lunches were our primary source for food.

Now, as an adult in need of access to healthcare, I’m well aware that to even be considered for government assistance in my state, you have to be at or below poverty level. Working class folks who are scraping by can’t afford health insurance or healthcare in general. Subsidies help on income tax, but what about now, in this moment? And deductibles are in the thousands, so you’re just throwing money away and not many physicians even take Obamacare, so the task of finding a decent doctor is even more slim than they are without Obamacare.

My health started to really decline in my teens. I had proof from my doctor that I was suffering and needed an accommodation to take an elevator instead of stairs to get to my second story classes. I was denied that accommodation because I looked fine. I wasn’t in a wheelchair or on crutches. I was in an incredible amount of pain, but looked perfectly healthy. The whole “suck it up” mentality and way of forcing others to do things they shouldn’t doesn’t work. At least, for the ones being forced. I quit school. I didn’t see any other option. I couldn’t carry what felt like fifty pounds of books up and down stairs on my back day in and day out. (My classes were nowhere near the locker I was provided, so I was forced to carry all my books) I physically couldn’t do it.

My mom pushed to get me into a one story alternative school and that’s where I was until I almost died from an ectopic pregnancy and then a few months after that my dad tried to kill my mother in a crowbar attack. I left school for good after that. I took on the responsibility of caring for my mom and brother until she moved away to be closer to my dad while he was in prison. But those are stories for a different time. Let’s get back to living with chronic illnesses.

Here’s a glamor shot of my mom. We went to the mall, when I was 13, to get our pictures done. We had so much fun being made up and dressed up, but wound up only being able to get this picture and one of me. It was way too expensive.

Finding gainful employment as a person with chronic illnesses and/or disabilities is incredibly difficult, if not impossible. So many jobs aren’t understanding when you need to take time off to receive healthcare, when you need to rest and recuperate, don’t provide health insurance, or they don’t want to provide even the most basic of accommodations to help you perform at your job, such as working from home. Most work without accommodations, are under paid, work til their bodies simply can’t anymore, don’t have a job, are homeless, or are self-employed.

I’ve been working as a self-employed artist for the past twenty plus years. I’ve been fortunate that my husband has been the main provider of our family and he encourages me to follow my dream. But anyone can become disabled at any time of their life and he now has some health issues as well. His employer doesn’t offer health benefits and his pay was recently cut, as well as the position he held. So, I’m now creating art tutorials in the hopes to supplement our income. I’ve also joined a local art group, so that I can exhibit and potentially sell my artwork.

My whole family needs to see a doctor for all different reasons, but we just can’t afford it. I’m now suffering from gastrointestinal issues and need testing and to see a specialist, but it’s not going to happen unless I can move some of my art and tutorials or accept donations through fundraising.

Here I am with one of my art tutorial pieces. It’s a watercolor fairy garden mushroom.

Back in 2011, I had thyroid cancer and now my doctor is concerned I could potentially have a gi type cancer. If that turns out to be the case, I don’t think I’ll be able to fight it with the financial situation we’re in now and that terrifies me. I’m trying to stay positive and have been doing PayPal fundraisers. But I can’t do this alone. My family and I appreciate your support. Whether you donate, purchase my art and art tutorials, or share my posts on social media. Thank you.

You can find all my Links HERE

Copyrights & Reproduction Rights Belong Solely To: Misty R. Lemons/Designs By Misty Blue Do Not Copy 

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“Facing Trauma”: My First Ever Podcast Interview

“Facing Trauma”: My First Ever Podcast Interview

Today I experienced my first ever podcast interview! (You can listen to it on Spotify now!) The podcast channel is called Past Level 50 With Mel and my particular episode is called “Facing Trauma Without The Mask: Misty’s Story”.

Mel and I follow each other on TikTok and that’s how we “met”. She reached out to me about a week ago and invited me to do a podcast with her, after I had mentioned that someday I’d like to do a TEDx Talk and podcast interview about how I’ve used art to help me cope and heal my childhood trauma.

Mel is so easy to talk to. She immediately put me at ease. She’s genuinely kind and real. 

I started my trauma healing journey two years ago and today was the culmination of what I’ve learned along the way.

Talking about my life isn’t easy. In fact, it goes against everything I was taught growing up and is foreign to me. I was expected to be quiet and not have needs or emotions. I was taught it was better for me to be invisible and not make myself a target. It’s how I survived.

Here I am holding a foam sculpture I made with an endearing message that means a lot to me

Today triggered me. I felt like I was shaming my mother and her memory. Like I was the bad child my parents made me out to be. Like I was failing her. But the truth is these things happened. I didn’t ask to be born, nor did I ask to be abused by people who should’ve protected me and comforted me. They failed me.

None of this has been easy for me. It’s like ripping a big bandage off a deep, angry wound. It’s raw and painful. But the wound needs to be exposed to the light to heal properly. Keeping this locked inside no longer serves me.

I don’t want to be a prisoner of the past. I owe it to myself to honor myself and my truth. And hopefully, my story will help others know that healing is possible. Though, my main goal is to feel better by healing myself and my family. But I love hearing that it helps others as well. That’s wonderful and amazing to me!

This is a journey I’ll probably be on the rest of my life, but it’s worth it because every step of the way more of the weight is lifted from me.

My mom was troubled. She had her own trauma and didn’t have the tools to cope or heal, but she wanted to and she tried. She did get some things right. She apologized to me a few years ago and genuinely meant it. I forgive her and I love and miss her. I’m her legacy and my healing and ending the generational trauma cycle is my legacy for me and future generations.

Easter with my mom and brother. This was her favorite memory and one of mine too. This photo was at her bedside when she passed. I was at her side too.

If you’ve ever experienced anything similar, please feel free to share in the comments.

To Learn More About Me And My Artwork, Please Visit My LinkTree

Copyrights & Reproduction Rights Belong Solely To Misty Lemons/Designs By Misty Blue Do Not Copy

First Image Courtesy Of Mel Chavez

*For Educational Purposes Only

Celebrate Life

Celebrate Life

I am celebrating my life and all the hard work it took to get to where I am now.

For the past two years, I’ve been working on healing my childhood trauma and ptsd.

Highlights From My Life In The Past Year

Looking back now, I see just how far I’ve come. Loud unexpected noises don’t cause my body to go into an adrenaline filled tailspin. It would make me feel sick for a day or two. I recover almost instantly now. And when I’m triggered, which is less often, I’m able to analyze why it happened and how to move through it.

Along the way, I received some therapy. I journalled, sat with my feelings and let them pass through (I don’t ignore or resist them now), I got outside and painted, took up sculpting, and researched quite a bit on Pinterest.

Here I Am Sporting A New Hairdo And Wearing Polymer Clay Earrings & Pin That I Made

Journalling helped me process my thoughts and emotions. I had several breakthroughs that way. And Pinterest gave me new information I didn’t have before.

I didn’t think I’d live past the age of 17. Yet here I am now at 43. At home in my body. Loved and accepted by myself. At peace.

I don’t know what’s next, but whatever it is, I’m hopeful and grateful.

If you’ve ever experienced anything similar, please feel free to share in the comments.

To Learn More About Me And My Artwork, Please Visit: My LinkTree


#traumahealingjourney #traumasurvivor #ptsd #childhoodtrauma #selfcare #selflove #grateful #mentalhealthmatters #chronicillnesswarrior #texasartist #mistylemons #designsbymistyblue

Copyrights Belong Solely To Misty R. Lemons/Designs By Misty Blue

Music Credit: As The World Caves In – Sarah Cothran

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Misty Lemons Presents: A Light In The Dark

Misty Lemons Presents: A Light In The Dark

I’m putting together a proposal for a gallery exhibition. I have art pieces in mind. Some need to be framed (paintings and drawings) and others will need to be printed onto canvas and framed (digital art). I’m calling my exhibit, “A Light In The Dark”.

The theme for my exhibition is my journey through generational trauma and how art has been a major coping mechanism and driving force in my healing, throughout my life.

I want to incorporate pieces from my childhood and teenage years, as well as work from my adulthood.

Here, I am standing in the beautiful gallery space I want my exhibition to be in

Art is an extremely pure form of expression, in my opinion. It helps the artist express and work through buried thoughts and emotions. It’s also a form of meditation and living in the moment, when you’re creating. Which, in turn helps with anxiety and depression.

As I’m Working To Put This Exhibition Proposal Together, I Made A Video Talking About What Motivated Me To Do So, Please Watch

Putting this together, on my own, will be an expensive undertaking. But I need to be fully prepared and ready to go, should my proposal be accepted. I want to put forth a fully fleshed out exhibition, before I approach the gallery. The gallery is more like a museum setting, so the pieces will not be shown for purchase. I will not be making money from this.

I’ve set up a Kofi Fundraiser to help offset costs. If you feel inspired to help me make this exhibition a reality, it is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

Copyrights: Misty R. Lemons/Designs By Misty Blue Do Not Copy

*For Educational Purposes Only