Tag: #eldestdaughter

Healing and Safety: Managing a Medical Procedure While Confronting a Stalker

Hey, everyone! I’m still here. It’s been a tough time, but I’m pushing through. Between dealing with health challenges and trying to raise enough money for a procedure I’ll be having next month, I’ve also been dealing with harassment from my abuser—my father (more on that in a minute).

To keep myself going, I’ve started up the “Sharing My Art Every Day Til I Can Afford Healthcare” series again (on YouTube). I’ve got loads of artwork available, art commissions, tutorials, and a medical fundraiser up and running. If you’re interested in supporting, my family and I would be so grateful. Every bit helps!

I won’t lie—creating new work hasn’t been easy lately. I’ve been in a mental and physical “rest mode,” preparing for my upcoming procedure and, honestly, just enjoying some much-needed time with my immediate family.

Now, you might be wondering why I’m talking about my father. For years, I’ve been healing my childhood trauma and sharing that process with all of you. Staying silent only continues to protect the abuser, and I refuse to do that any longer. My story deserves to be told. It’s incredibly important to me that my story is heard—especially if something were to happen to me, I want there to be a record.

My father has stalked, harassed, and manipulated me for far too long (my whole life). I’ve told him multiple times that I don’t want him in my life—especially after he made cruel accusations to his neighbor, claiming I neglected and abused him. (It’s textbook narcissistic abuse to flip the script on their victim and accuse them of being abusive. The narc is charming to outsiders and they oftentimes will side with the narc.) Keep in mind, I was the one raising money and organizing supplies for him when his house burned down at that time. I even set up Meals on Wheels for him and got him in touch with Red Cross. It’s hard to understand how someone can be so twisted and diabolical, especially to recruit people to exact his cruel bidding even more.

He also told my brother I’m not his child, that he never treated me like I was. (He finally said the quiet part out loud! Now that’s closure!) But I did an Ancestry DNA test, and surprise—turns out, I am his child, just like my mom always said. It’s not shocking to me at this point. What I’ve learned over the years is that he’s cruel, manipulative, exploitative, and abusive. I’ve had enough of that. *YouTube Video Discussing This And Recent Events More In Depth*

I deserve peace. I deserve love. And I deserve happiness.

So, I’m focusing on keeping my spirits up and staying busy when I can, but I’m also giving myself permission to take things slowly and to talk about what’s happened and happening to me now.

I want to thank you all so much for your support and kindness. It truly means the world to me. I’ll try to keep you updated on everything, as it’s important to document things for safety, and I’m so grateful to have you in my corner. Take care of yourselves and I’ll see you soon!

Award Winning Artist, Misty Lemons of Designs By Misty Blue Art holding a watercolor painting she created live on YouTube, showing a technique she uses to calm her anxiety

To learn more about me and my art or if you’d like to offer support, please visit my Link Tree! Thank you so much!

Copyrights Reproduction Rights Belong Solely To Misty Lemons/Designs By Misty Blue Do Not Copy Or Reproduce

*For Educational Purposes Only

*For Legal Purposes, Statements Made Here & Other Platforms Are Opinion & Are Alleged

Dive Into The World Of Watercolor With An Award-Winning Artist’s Exclusive Tutorials!

When I started livestreaming on TikTok, I offered a glimpse into my artistic process. Whether I was painting in watercolor in the park or sculpting polymer clay in my studio, I urged viewers to seek progress and not perfection when practicing art. I spoke on how therapeutic creating art can be, after suffering childhood trauma and using art as a tool for healing.

This Watercolor Fairy Garden Tutorial Is Available In My Shop Now!

After twenty plus years of being a professional creative, it only made sense to start teaching what I’ve learned. I’m starting with watercolor painting and may move on to acrylic painting and polymer clay later.

I chose to start with watercolor tutorials because I remember when I started to learn watercolor how intimidating it felt. But I kept at it and I want to share my insights into the medium with others who may be feeling the same way I did.

To Honor Him, I Named This Tutorial After My Dog, Bones. He Loved Eating Watermelon With Me. He Was My Bestest Buddy And I Miss Him Every Day.

Here I Am With My Sweet Boy After Demolishing A Watermelon Together On The Fourth Of July

When the pandemic hit, people were picking up new skills while in quarantine. I decided to pick up watercolor. But after my mom passed in 2022, I decided I needed something to help me through my grief. So I started painting several times a day for six months. Only when I started practicing daily did I see real improvement. And I still consider art a practice. Every time I create I learn something new and see progress in the skills I’m learning.

After Losing My Mom, Going To The Park To Paint Was The Best Thing I Did For Myself. It Helped Me Process My Grief.

It’s my hope that I inspire others to create and use art for their mental and emotional well-being. I’m not a therapist or doctor, but studies show art is beneficial and beyond that, I believe it because I live it. Art helps me. Maybe, it can help you too.

To Learn More About Me & My Artwork & To Shop My Art & Tutorials, Please Visit My LinkTree

Art & Blog Copyrights & Reproduction Rights Belong Solely To: Misty R. Lemons/Designs By Misty Blue Do Not Copy

*For Educational Purposes Only*

Being The Eldest Daughter Of An Eldest Daughter

Today, I’m reminding myself that it’s okay to not be everyone’s caregiver. It may sound selfish, but it isn’t. Boundaries and self care are so incredibly important and necessary to foster good mental and emotional health and well being.

I was always the friend who looked out for everyone. I was the people pleaser because I thought that’s how love worked. The whole “do unto others as you’d have done unto you” drilled into my psyche. I was always thinking ahead, planning, and anticipating to meet everyone’s needs. I was always a parent, an old soul, and so mature for my age. It’s a tremendously heavy and unhealthy burden to bear.

I came across this image on Instagram and it seems completely appropriate. It appears credit should go to Trufoundstory.

I was raised to be a caregiver by my family. Taught that I should cater to my father’s needs and whims, that I’m my brother’s keeper, and an emotional dumping ground for my mother. And I was expected to not ever really accomplish much of anything in my own life, other than to get married and be a mom.

I was consistently shown that my needs didn’t matter and took a backseat to everyone else’s. I wasn’t fully allowed to just be a child or person.

Growing up, I would watch my mother, who was also raised this way, become angry, burned out, and, at times, be incredibly selfish and cruel. She didn’t want children of her own so early on in her life. She wanted to party and be free. It just didn’t work out like that for her. She resented it, as displayed through some of her actions and in journals I found after her passing.

My mother had basically raised her sisters and then, upon becoming an adult, pretty immediately became a mother to me. She was always a parent and never could enjoy just being young. Her identity and purpose were wrapped in caring for others and in responsibility.

Who would care and comfort me, though? Oftentimes, I was neglected. I was used and taken advantage of. Manipulated and looked down upon. Rejected. Abused. My most basic of emotional needs rarely met. Inherently, I came to believe my worth was tied to my usefulness to others.

For the past couple of years, I’ve been on a trauma healing journey, though and I’m realizing all of this now. Through soul searching and trauma research, I’ve discovered that the answer to the question of who will care for me is me. I have to put in boundaries to protect myself. I’m not everyone’s parent. Not my parents’ parents, not my friends, my brother’s, my spouse, or strangers on the internet or beyond. Nope. It’s not my responsibility.

I have needs too and I choose to honor myself by caring for me. Boundaries help me have authentic connection in my relationships and any care I give is by choice and not programming. The cycle of generational trauma will end with me.

If you’ve ever experienced anything similar, please feel free to share in the comments.

To Learn More About Me, My Trauma Healing Journey, And My Artwork, Please Visit My LinkTree. Thank You.

Copyrights Belong Solely To Misty R. Lemons/Designs By Misty Blue Art Do Not Copy Or Reproduce (Excludes Image Of Lisa Simpson)

*For Educational Purposes Only