Sometimes, I wonder how my life would be different had I not had chronic illnesses. Unfortunately, I’ve been ill in one way or another the majority of my life, so I can’t really say how it could’ve been. Anything I imagine would only be a dream.

Health is wealth that is easy to take for granted if you have it. And society just isn’t set up to be accommodating to those with illnesses or disabilities. I mean, think about it. It starts early in life. Schools reward and praise the kids that never miss a day, whether they’re sick or not. It’s like they’re saying they don’t care if you’re sick and taking care of yourself is shamed when you don’t get the accolades of perfect attendance. But health is a privilege and so is healthcare, when they should be human rights.

America is one of the richest countries in the world and it’s where I happened to be born. But capitalism, greed, rugged individualism, bigotry, and eugenics are heavily integrated into the systems that run our country and many a people have been fighting it, demanding change and equity/equality for a long time.

My mother was disabled. I had a front row seat to see just how difficult life is for someone with chronic illnesses and disabilities. She worked hard to make sure we had healthcare, a clean house and clothes, and food to eat, but government assistance only goes so far. By the end of every month free school lunches were our primary source for food.

Now, as an adult in need of access to healthcare, I’m well aware that to even be considered for government assistance in my state, you have to be at or below poverty level. Working class folks who are scraping by can’t afford health insurance or healthcare in general. Subsidies help on income tax, but what about now, in this moment? And deductibles are in the thousands, so you’re just throwing money away and not many physicians even take Obamacare, so the task of finding a decent doctor is even more slim than they are without Obamacare.

My health started to really decline in my teens. I had proof from my doctor that I was suffering and needed an accommodation to take an elevator instead of stairs to get to my second story classes. I was denied that accommodation because I looked fine. I wasn’t in a wheelchair or on crutches. I was in an incredible amount of pain, but looked perfectly healthy. The whole “suck it up” mentality and way of forcing others to do things they shouldn’t doesn’t work. At least, for the ones being forced. I quit school. I didn’t see any other option. I couldn’t carry what felt like fifty pounds of books up and down stairs on my back day in and day out. (My classes were nowhere near the locker I was provided, so I was forced to carry all my books) I physically couldn’t do it.

My mom pushed to get me into a one story alternative school and that’s where I was until I almost died from an ectopic pregnancy and then a few months after that my dad tried to kill my mother in a crowbar attack. I left school for good after that. I took on the responsibility of caring for my mom and brother until she moved away to be closer to my dad while he was in prison. But those are stories for a different time. Let’s get back to living with chronic illnesses.

Finding gainful employment as a person with chronic illnesses and/or disabilities is incredibly difficult, if not impossible. So many jobs aren’t understanding when you need to take time off to receive healthcare, when you need to rest and recuperate, don’t provide health insurance, or they don’t want to provide even the most basic of accommodations to help you perform at your job, such as working from home. Most work without accommodations, are under paid, work til their bodies simply can’t anymore, don’t have a job, are homeless, or are self-employed.

I’ve been working as a self-employed artist for the past twenty plus years. I’ve been fortunate that my husband has been the main provider of our family and he encourages me to follow my dream. But anyone can become disabled at any time of their life and he now has some health issues as well. His employer doesn’t offer health benefits and his pay was recently cut, as well as the position he held. So, I’m now creating art tutorials in the hopes to supplement our income. I’ve also joined a local art group, so that I can exhibit and potentially sell my artwork.

My whole family needs to see a doctor for all different reasons, but we just can’t afford it. I’m now suffering from gastrointestinal issues and need testing and to see a specialist, but it’s not going to happen unless I can move some of my art and tutorials or accept donations through fundraising.

Back in 2011, I had thyroid cancer and now my doctor is concerned I could potentially have a gi type cancer. If that turns out to be the case, I don’t think I’ll be able to fight it with the financial situation we’re in now and that terrifies me. I’m trying to stay positive and have been doing PayPal fundraisers. But I can’t do this alone. My family and I appreciate your support. Whether you donate, purchase my art and art tutorials, or share my posts on social media. Thank you.

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