Category: Healing & Resilience

Healing and Safety: Managing a Medical Procedure While Confronting a Stalker

Healing and Safety: Managing a Medical Procedure While Confronting a Stalker

Hey, everyone! I’m still here. It’s been a tough time, but I’m pushing through. Between dealing with health challenges and trying to raise enough money for a procedure I’ll be having next month, I’ve also been dealing with harassment from my abuser—my father (more on that in a minute).

To keep myself going, I’ve started up the “Sharing My Art Every Day Til I Can Afford Healthcare” series again (on YouTube). I’ve got loads of artwork available, art commissions, tutorials, and a medical fundraiser up and running. If you’re interested in supporting, my family and I would be so grateful. Every bit helps!

I won’t lie—creating new work hasn’t been easy lately. I’ve been in a mental and physical “rest mode,” preparing for my upcoming procedure and, honestly, just enjoying some much-needed time with my immediate family.

Now, you might be wondering why I’m talking about my father. For years, I’ve been healing my childhood trauma and sharing that process with all of you. Staying silent only continues to protect the abuser, and I refuse to do that any longer. My story deserves to be told. It’s incredibly important to me that my story is heard—especially if something were to happen to me, I want there to be a record.

My father has stalked, harassed, and manipulated me for far too long (my whole life). I’ve told him multiple times that I don’t want him in my life—especially after he made cruel accusations to his neighbor, claiming I neglected and abused him. (It’s textbook narcissistic abuse to flip the script on their victim and accuse them of being abusive. The narc is charming to outsiders and they oftentimes will side with the narc.) Keep in mind, I was the one raising money and organizing supplies for him when his house burned down at that time. I even set up Meals on Wheels for him and got him in touch with Red Cross. It’s hard to understand how someone can be so twisted and diabolical, especially to recruit people to exact his cruel bidding even more.

He also told my brother I’m not his child, that he never treated me like I was. (He finally said the quiet part out loud! Now that’s closure!) But I did an Ancestry DNA test, and surprise—turns out, I am his child, just like my mom always said. It’s not shocking to me at this point. What I’ve learned over the years is that he’s cruel, manipulative, exploitative, and abusive. I’ve had enough of that. *YouTube Video Discussing This And Recent Events More In Depth*

I deserve peace. I deserve love. And I deserve happiness.

So, I’m focusing on keeping my spirits up and staying busy when I can, but I’m also giving myself permission to take things slowly and to talk about what’s happened and happening to me now.

I want to thank you all so much for your support and kindness. It truly means the world to me. I’ll try to keep you updated on everything, as it’s important to document things for safety, and I’m so grateful to have you in my corner. Take care of yourselves and I’ll see you soon!

Award Winning Artist, Misty Lemons of Designs By Misty Blue Art holding a watercolor painting she created live on YouTube, showing a technique she uses to calm her anxiety

To learn more about me and my art or if you’d like to offer support, please visit my Link Tree! Thank you so much!

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Creative Living With Chronic Illnesses

Creative Living With Chronic Illnesses

Sometimes, I wonder how my life would be different had I not had chronic illnesses. Unfortunately, I’ve been ill in one way or another the majority of my life, so I can’t really say how it could’ve been. Anything I imagine would only be a dream.

Here I am contemplating my next art piece, or wondering how I can afford to go to the doctor, or both

Health is wealth that is easy to take for granted if you have it. And society just isn’t set up to be accommodating to those with illnesses or disabilities. I mean, think about it. It starts early in life. Schools reward and praise the kids that never miss a day, whether they’re sick or not. It’s like they’re saying they don’t care if you’re sick and taking care of yourself is shamed when you don’t get the accolades of perfect attendance. But health is a privilege and so is healthcare, when they should be human rights.

America is one of the richest countries in the world and it’s where I happened to be born. But capitalism, greed, rugged individualism, bigotry, and eugenics are heavily integrated into the systems that run our country and many a people have been fighting it, demanding change and equity/equality for a long time.

My mother was disabled. I had a front row seat to see just how difficult life is for someone with chronic illnesses and disabilities. She worked hard to make sure we had healthcare, a clean house and clothes, and food to eat, but government assistance only goes so far. By the end of every month free school lunches were our primary source for food.

Now, as an adult in need of access to healthcare, I’m well aware that to even be considered for government assistance in my state, you have to be at or below poverty level. Working class folks who are scraping by can’t afford health insurance or healthcare in general. Subsidies help on income tax, but what about now, in this moment? And deductibles are in the thousands, so you’re just throwing money away and not many physicians even take Obamacare, so the task of finding a decent doctor is even more slim than they are without Obamacare.

My health started to really decline in my teens. I had proof from my doctor that I was suffering and needed an accommodation to take an elevator instead of stairs to get to my second story classes. I was denied that accommodation because I looked fine. I wasn’t in a wheelchair or on crutches. I was in an incredible amount of pain, but looked perfectly healthy. The whole “suck it up” mentality and way of forcing others to do things they shouldn’t doesn’t work. At least, for the ones being forced. I quit school. I didn’t see any other option. I couldn’t carry what felt like fifty pounds of books up and down stairs on my back day in and day out. (My classes were nowhere near the locker I was provided, so I was forced to carry all my books) I physically couldn’t do it.

My mom pushed to get me into a one story alternative school and that’s where I was until I almost died from an ectopic pregnancy and then a few months after that my dad tried to kill my mother in a crowbar attack. I left school for good after that. I took on the responsibility of caring for my mom and brother until she moved away to be closer to my dad while he was in prison. But those are stories for a different time. Let’s get back to living with chronic illnesses.

Here’s a glamor shot of my mom. We went to the mall, when I was 13, to get our pictures done. We had so much fun being made up and dressed up, but wound up only being able to get this picture and one of me. It was way too expensive.

Finding gainful employment as a person with chronic illnesses and/or disabilities is incredibly difficult, if not impossible. So many jobs aren’t understanding when you need to take time off to receive healthcare, when you need to rest and recuperate, don’t provide health insurance, or they don’t want to provide even the most basic of accommodations to help you perform at your job, such as working from home. Most work without accommodations, are under paid, work til their bodies simply can’t anymore, don’t have a job, are homeless, or are self-employed.

I’ve been working as a self-employed artist for the past twenty plus years. I’ve been fortunate that my husband has been the main provider of our family and he encourages me to follow my dream. But anyone can become disabled at any time of their life and he now has some health issues as well. His employer doesn’t offer health benefits and his pay was recently cut, as well as the position he held. So, I’m now creating art tutorials in the hopes to supplement our income. I’ve also joined a local art group, so that I can exhibit and potentially sell my artwork.

My whole family needs to see a doctor for all different reasons, but we just can’t afford it. I’m now suffering from gastrointestinal issues and need testing and to see a specialist, but it’s not going to happen unless I can move some of my art and tutorials or accept donations through fundraising.

Here I am with one of my art tutorial pieces. It’s a watercolor fairy garden mushroom.

Back in 2011, I had thyroid cancer and now my doctor is concerned I could potentially have a gi type cancer. If that turns out to be the case, I don’t think I’ll be able to fight it with the financial situation we’re in now and that terrifies me. I’m trying to stay positive and have been doing PayPal fundraisers. But I can’t do this alone. My family and I appreciate your support. Whether you donate, purchase my art and art tutorials, or share my posts on social media. Thank you.

You can find all my Links HERE

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They Were Wrong: Empowered Women Rock

They Were Wrong: Empowered Women Rock

From my dad who wouldn’t teach me how to work on a car because he’d rather teach my brother to the guidance counselor in highschool who told me girls weren’t allowed in shop class or mechanic class… Eff you! You were wrong.

Gender shouldn’t dictate what experiences and opportunities are granted or not. Especially, if the person is willing to learn.

I know how to check my oil now. I own and use a scroll saw, a drill, and have also used a reciprocating saw. And I’m eager to learn more. You may have slowed me down, but you’re not holding me back.

Here I am using a scrollsaw on an art project I’m creating & also showing off my drill. (I do not own the rights to the music in the video. This is a video I did for TikTok.)

If you’ve ever experienced anything similar, please feel free to share in the comments.

To Learn More About Me And My Artwork, Please Visit: Link Tree

#feminism #feminismishumanism #girlpower #art #artist #traumasurvivor #chronicillnesswarrior  #designsbymistyblue

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Being The Eldest Daughter Of An Eldest Daughter

Being The Eldest Daughter Of An Eldest Daughter

Today, I’m reminding myself that it’s okay to not be everyone’s caregiver. It may sound selfish, but it isn’t. Boundaries and self care are so incredibly important and necessary to foster good mental and emotional health and well being.

I was always the friend who looked out for everyone. I was the people pleaser because I thought that’s how love worked. The whole “do unto others as you’d have done unto you” drilled into my psyche. I was always thinking ahead, planning, and anticipating to meet everyone’s needs. I was always a parent, an old soul, and so mature for my age. It’s a tremendously heavy and unhealthy burden to bear.

I came across this image on Instagram and it seems completely appropriate. It appears credit should go to Trufoundstory.

I was raised to be a caregiver by my family. Taught that I should cater to my father’s needs and whims, that I’m my brother’s keeper, and an emotional dumping ground for my mother. And I was expected to not ever really accomplish much of anything in my own life, other than to get married and be a mom.

I was consistently shown that my needs didn’t matter and took a backseat to everyone else’s. I wasn’t fully allowed to just be a child or person.

Growing up, I would watch my mother, who was also raised this way, become angry, burned out, and, at times, be incredibly selfish and cruel. She didn’t want children of her own so early on in her life. She wanted to party and be free. It just didn’t work out like that for her. She resented it, as displayed through some of her actions and in journals I found after her passing.

My mother had basically raised her sisters and then, upon becoming an adult, pretty immediately became a mother to me. She was always a parent and never could enjoy just being young. Her identity and purpose were wrapped in caring for others and in responsibility.

Who would care and comfort me, though? Oftentimes, I was neglected. I was used and taken advantage of. Manipulated and looked down upon. Rejected. Abused. My most basic of emotional needs rarely met. Inherently, I came to believe my worth was tied to my usefulness to others.

For the past couple of years, I’ve been on a trauma healing journey, though and I’m realizing all of this now. Through soul searching and trauma research, I’ve discovered that the answer to the question of who will care for me is me. I have to put in boundaries to protect myself. I’m not everyone’s parent. Not my parents’ parents, not my friends, my brother’s, my spouse, or strangers on the internet or beyond. Nope. It’s not my responsibility.

I have needs too and I choose to honor myself by caring for me. Boundaries help me have authentic connection in my relationships and any care I give is by choice and not programming. The cycle of generational trauma will end with me.

If you’ve ever experienced anything similar, please feel free to share in the comments.

To Learn More About Me, My Trauma Healing Journey, And My Artwork, Please Visit My LinkTree. Thank You.

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“Facing Trauma”: My First Ever Podcast Interview

“Facing Trauma”: My First Ever Podcast Interview

Today I experienced my first ever podcast interview! (You can listen to it on Spotify now!) The podcast channel is called Past Level 50 With Mel and my particular episode is called “Facing Trauma Without The Mask: Misty’s Story”.

Mel and I follow each other on TikTok and that’s how we “met”. She reached out to me about a week ago and invited me to do a podcast with her, after I had mentioned that someday I’d like to do a TEDx Talk and podcast interview about how I’ve used art to help me cope and heal my childhood trauma.

Mel is so easy to talk to. She immediately put me at ease. She’s genuinely kind and real. 

I started my trauma healing journey two years ago and today was the culmination of what I’ve learned along the way.

Talking about my life isn’t easy. In fact, it goes against everything I was taught growing up and is foreign to me. I was expected to be quiet and not have needs or emotions. I was taught it was better for me to be invisible and not make myself a target. It’s how I survived.

Here I am holding a foam sculpture I made with an endearing message that means a lot to me

Today triggered me. I felt like I was shaming my mother and her memory. Like I was the bad child my parents made me out to be. Like I was failing her. But the truth is these things happened. I didn’t ask to be born, nor did I ask to be abused by people who should’ve protected me and comforted me. They failed me.

None of this has been easy for me. It’s like ripping a big bandage off a deep, angry wound. It’s raw and painful. But the wound needs to be exposed to the light to heal properly. Keeping this locked inside no longer serves me.

I don’t want to be a prisoner of the past. I owe it to myself to honor myself and my truth. And hopefully, my story will help others know that healing is possible. Though, my main goal is to feel better by healing myself and my family. But I love hearing that it helps others as well. That’s wonderful and amazing to me!

This is a journey I’ll probably be on the rest of my life, but it’s worth it because every step of the way more of the weight is lifted from me.

My mom was troubled. She had her own trauma and didn’t have the tools to cope or heal, but she wanted to and she tried. She did get some things right. She apologized to me a few years ago and genuinely meant it. I forgive her and I love and miss her. I’m her legacy and my healing and ending the generational trauma cycle is my legacy for me and future generations.

Easter with my mom and brother. This was her favorite memory and one of mine too. This photo was at her bedside when she passed. I was at her side too.

If you’ve ever experienced anything similar, please feel free to share in the comments.

To Learn More About Me And My Artwork, Please Visit My LinkTree

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First Image Courtesy Of Mel Chavez

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Thyroid Cancer Survivor

Thyroid Cancer Survivor

Eleven years ago, I had surgery to remove my thyroid. I had two terribly painful lemon size nodules on my thyroid. One in front of the other.

Here I Am, Before Surgery. I Look Happy, But Was Completely Scared.

When they removed everything, they ran tests on the thyroid and nodules. They found a small amount of cancer in my thyroid. Thankfully, removing it was enough to treat it. I didn’t need chemotherapy.

Here I Am After Surgery And Having An Ordeal Post Op. I Was Miserable And Could Hardly Speak. The Surgery Effected My Vocal Chords.

My health is still a struggle, even after all these years. But in all this time, I’ve also had incredible and wonderful things happen that I’m extremely grateful for.

Here I Am (Center) With My Husband (Left) And Son (Right). We Have A Silly Accessories Filter On. This Was Taken At A Local Art And Music Festival.

Spending time with my family and creating art are at the top of my list of things I’m thankful for.

I’ve won awards for my art and photography. I’ve gotten to paint a mural, curated an exhibition that I participated in with a great group of art friends, I stream live while I paint, and so many more fantastic things, in spite of my health and childhood and medical trauma.

Here’s The Give Love Project And Exhibition I Curated And Participated In With A Great Group Of Art Friends. (My Piece Is Pictured Center)

It has been a tough journey, but I’m glad I could be on it. I’m still here and made a YouTube video to prove it!

I lost my mom and my dog this year, within months of each other. And as hard as it’s been, I’m blessed to have gotten to share my life with them. They blessed me with their love and support. I miss them every single day. I hope they can see me and are cheering me on.

Here’s A Glamour Shot Of My Beautiful Momma! I Miss You, Mom And Love You Bunches!
Here’s My Beautiful Buddy (A Lab Heeler Mix) Who I Lost Two Months Before Losing My Mom. I Miss Him So Much.
Here’s A Photo I Recently Took Of Myself On One Of My Jaunts To Paint In The Park (I Stream It Live On TikTok, Designs By Misty Blue)

If you’ve ever experienced anything similar, please feel free to share in the comments.

Thank you for reading my blog and for supporting me. To learn more about me, visit my LinkTree.

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Misty Lemons Presents: A Light In The Dark

Misty Lemons Presents: A Light In The Dark

I’m putting together a proposal for a gallery exhibition. I have art pieces in mind. Some need to be framed (paintings and drawings) and others will need to be printed onto canvas and framed (digital art). I’m calling my exhibit, “A Light In The Dark”.

The theme for my exhibition is my journey through generational trauma and how art has been a major coping mechanism and driving force in my healing, throughout my life.

I want to incorporate pieces from my childhood and teenage years, as well as work from my adulthood.

Here, I am standing in the beautiful gallery space I want my exhibition to be in

Art is an extremely pure form of expression, in my opinion. It helps the artist express and work through buried thoughts and emotions. It’s also a form of meditation and living in the moment, when you’re creating. Which, in turn helps with anxiety and depression.

As I’m Working To Put This Exhibition Proposal Together, I Made A Video Talking About What Motivated Me To Do So, Please Watch

Putting this together, on my own, will be an expensive undertaking. But I need to be fully prepared and ready to go, should my proposal be accepted. I want to put forth a fully fleshed out exhibition, before I approach the gallery. The gallery is more like a museum setting, so the pieces will not be shown for purchase. I will not be making money from this.

I’ve set up a Kofi Fundraiser to help offset costs. If you feel inspired to help me make this exhibition a reality, it is greatly appreciated. Thank you.

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Painting In The Park

Painting In The Park

Painting in the park has been the biggest improvement to my life. The fresh air, the change of scenery, the sunshine… All of it has done wonders for my mental health and it has been so helpful to my trauma healing journey and with grieving my mother who passed in August.

Holding one of my watercolor paintings I created in the park

If this is your first time reading my blog, let me introduce myself. My name is Misty. I’m a visual artist from Texas. I have been on a childhood trauma healing journey for over a year now. I also suffer from chronic illnesses, such as psoriatic arthritis, macular degeneration, and hypothyroidism. I’m a hot mess, but I’m doing my best to enjoy life and create as much art as I can.

I started going to the park a little over a month ago. I’ve been going one to two times a week and spend a couple hours there at a time.

Here I am laying on my mom’s blanket next to a pumpkin I painted

I take a blanket my mom had, so I feel close to her. She was a big fan of my art and always cheered me on. I miss her so much.

When I first started going to the park, I was so anxious and sad, but now I feel most like myself there. I’m not looking forward to cold weather because it’ll keep me indoors, but until then, I’m going to enjoy it as much as I can!

Holding a macaw parrot painting I did

Every time, I paint in the park, I paint live on TikTok. I get to chat with people all over the world. I love it! It’s so fun! I hope you’ll join the live next time I’m there!

Visit My Links Here! Thank You!

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An Exceptionally Difficult Year

An Exceptionally Difficult Year

Let me start by saying how incredibly grateful I am for the wonderful people in my life. Family, art friends, and kind people on the internet. I never want to take them for granted.

I haven’t been as active, artwise, this year, as I’ve been in previous years, due to heartbreaking life events.

As you may or may not know, I suffer from chronic illnesses. Every day, every moment my symptoms can change. Dealing with health problems is time consuming, expensive, and draining on your mental health. It’s devastating and isolating. I’ve really taken the year to focus on my mental health and heal past childhood traumas, in hopes it helps my overall health.

June wasn’t a good month for me and my family. My dog became extremely ill and we spent all we could to try to save him, last October. And we did. We got around eight more months with him, before he became ill again. We made the excruciatingly painful decision to ease his suffering. He passed June 8th. He was my bestest buddy and I’ve been mourning his loss a great deal.

My beautiful, sweet boy, Bones

Then, last month, August, I was painting, when my brother called to tell me our mom was in the hospital. She was dying. She was moved to hospice, where she passed away. It all happened so quickly and unexpectedly. But I was by her side, when she passed and we got to say our “I love you’s” to each other, before she went.

My mother’s passing has hit me hard. I haven’t painted anything in the past month. I just wasn’t able to bring myself to do it, until today. My mom would always see my Instagram posts and tell me how much she loved my artwork. She’ll never get to do that again and it hurts so much. I just didn’t feel like creating, but I also know art heals the soul.

I decided, despite everything, to take myself out to lunch and then to go paint in the park today. I’m so glad I did. I actually had some fun and I hope my mom was there with me.

Painting pumpkins in the park on my mom’s blanket

I’ve had a few of my art pieces on exhibit earlier in the year. And I was recently asked to join an exhibition at The Lil Blue Goat in Mansfield Texas. The artist’s reception is October 14th, with details in the above link. I’ve been thinking of joining a biweekly artist get together to get out more, also.

Both watercolor pieces are on exhibit at The Lil Blue Goat in Mansfield Texas. The top piece has sold. The bottom is available.

I’m still here, though. I post on TikTok pretty much daily. I’m on Instagram and YouTube also. As well as Facebook and Pinterest. I also have loads of work available in my Society6 shop and some in my new Threadless shop. You can find everything through my LinkTree.

This beautiful design of mine is available in my Threadless shop. Link above.

Thank you so much for supporting me, my work, and this little blog of mine. Take care of yourself and hug your mom, if you can.

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